One of the big insecurities that plague me here in China is the choice to come here in the first place. Was it the right decision? Did I make a mistake?
If I stay here and learn Chinese, I will have a definite advantage in the job market if and when I go back home. On the other hand, patience has never been my strong suit.
There’s a little jealousy going on there, too. I see friends of mine doing stuff that is great and interesting and although my job here is cool and relaxed, there is a little voice in my head saying that I would have liked to do those other things, too.
And then I think back to all the decisions that I’ve made in my life and consider what I would decide now, with all the knowledge I have now. Regarding my education, my choice of major, some behavior when I was younger; if only I could do it over again, I would do it all differently.
But that is a very cliched thing to say. We can’t do things over again and trying that is exactly what causes a person to make new mistakes.
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